Thursday, April 9, 2009

I continued the morphine through the night last night and all day today. Mom has been awake off an on today but only for brief periods. Each time she recognized us and even said a few I love you's! So far she appears to be comfortable and looks very peaceful. The hospice nurse said she believes she will pass away sometime this evening but I believe for some reason it will be tomorrow. I've had the feeling for some time that she would pass away on good Friday. I'm at ease with everything that is happening and I have overcome my fear. I think I was afraid that when things got bad I wouldn't be able to do what needed to be done. But so far I've handled everything just fine and am so glad I've been able to be the one to care for my mother when she needs me the most. Last night I put my face close to hers and told her how glad I am that she was my mother. She reached up and touched my cheek and whispered "Thank you for being my sweet girl". What more could I ever ask of her. God has blessed me so much and made these last days so special. He is with her now and I truly believe he will take her softly from this life. She will go gently into the night. I haven't slept since sometime Tuesday but for some reason I'm not tired. I just want to stay here beside her until she takes her last breath in this life. I feel honored to be with her now. This is the mother who cut out paper dolls with me and taught me how to be a mother. She gave me life and I am honored to be with her now when she parts this world and goes to be with her heavenly father. I know her hand will be the first I hold when it is my time to join her.

2 comments:

kenju said...

Oh, this made me cry and miss my mother. You are lucky to have had each other for so long.

Megan said...

I am glad you have had this peaceful time to say goodbye. It sounds like your mother is at peace. She is lucky to have her family by her side.